I'm working on my pilot's license. I had my first flight, this morning. It was pretty awesome, but sitting in a cockpit is not where I want to be. I want to be out there, man. I want to fly. Really, fly. Bikers say they like to feel the wind in their hair, I want to feel it all over me, part of me.

I'm not the kind of guy who takes risks. I'm a med student. I'm about to start a psych rotation. I know I'm having some kind of idenetity crisis. I know it's because of the angel inside of me. He wants to fly, damn it. He just wants to fly. And read. He likes to read.

I'm going to jump out of the plane, next weekend. I'm just going to do it.

I've always had dreams of flying, long as I can remember. Even when I was a little kid. When I'd have a big test or an oral presentation at school, I'd think about flying before I started, and I was generally okay to get through it. Flying makes me feel calm, and in a way, alive. I never really understood exactly why, I'm not sure I understand exactly why now. I just know, flying makes me feel whole.

I'm getting my pilot's license. I registered with a training school this morning. I start next week, and in a few months, I'll be able to fly any time I want to. To be able to take a plane and go up to the clouds, higher than the trees. I've been on a plane before, but I've never been the one flying the plane. Only in my dreams. And now it's going to be a reality. I'm going to fly.

Spring cleaning, you never know what you'll find. I found this little doo-hickey, that some doofus gave me a while back. It's not that I didn't believe him, I did. I just, I don't know. Didn't want to call attention to myself, I guess. Something like that. I don't know. But, yeah. I found the doo-hickey, and it still works, so I guess that confirms I still have the angel in my head. His name's Aziraphale, and he's pretty awesome, when you get past the...well. I mean. He's an angel, right? I probably shouldn't say too much.

Welcome, then, to all the new people, and hello to all the old standbys. I've been around a few years, but as I said, mostly kept to myself. I'm feeling something like a duck out of water, lately. It's okay for a little while, but after a while, you start to miss it, maybe even start feeling a little dry. I don't know. I guess I've reached a point in my life where I just want to reach out, and know I'm not alone.

So. Yeah. I'm Auden. Who are you?

( Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you )